Grand Adventure

It all started with a conversation at happy hour. A couple of glasses of wine, a little dreaming and before I knew it, I was researching a Rim to Rim hike of the Grand Canyon.

Yep, you read that right, THE GRAND CANYON.

Given my foot issues, the very prospect of this was daunting. Four hiking days; decending and ascending over 7200 feet; a 30lb pack on my back with everything I need to live for those precious, life altering, unwashed days and no way out if anything went wrong. EEK! I was scared. Soon though, the fear began to fade and an odd excitement took its place.

This was my chance. If I could make it through this, I could declare my foot, healed. A broken tendon does not withstand this sort of abuse without being, dare I say, somewhat fixed.

We booked the trip and started "training". Weekend hikes, endurance rides and some running. We even tried to slim down a little. Nothing could have prepared us for what we encountered and I could not have hoped for a more glorious ending.

As August rolled around, I started feeling antsy. Only 30 days until "THE" day. The day we'll don our packs and head out. I could feel my stomach do a couple of loops at the prospect. We were smart. We hired the Cadillac of adventure companies, Just Roughin It. So the logistics, equipment and food were covered. Now it was not just a matter of physical fitness.

The better half and I put the pedal to the metal for all of August and really upped the ante on our fitness program. Interval training, long rides in the blazing sun and weight specific training had us feeling good. We also did some test hikes with full packs to get a feel for how we'd do from a weight and balance perspective. In addition, I used the techniques in the foot book like a religion. Stretching, icing, stretching, massaging. Anything to make sure the flexibility of my tendons remained intact.

August 30. Our flight leaves for Phoenix. We are in the air for four plus hours and cross a couple of time zones. By the time we get to our hotel, it's 11p our time. We are tired but oddly hungry so we head out for a little food followed by some much needed rest.

August 31. We meet our driver in the lobby of the hotel at 4:30a! We didn't sleep well the night before for obvious reasons. We take our duffle bags and head for the van. We are excited, tired and a little nervous. Or at least I am.

We arrive at the trail four hours later. We'll begin our hike in the heat of the day. All of us are nervous. The group consists of my friend Laura, my better half's brother, the better half and me. We pick up a singleton, a lovely woman from Vancouver, BC named Lenora. She hasn't seen 90 degrees for most of her life. We sit in silence at the prospect of hiking in what might be 115 degrees!

We pick up our guide, The Steve. An awesome guy with a wicked sense of humor and superhuman strength (he carried all of his gear and all of our meals).  We are ready.

The hike begins with a descent into the Canyon. We will have descended just about 4000 feet when we reach the first camp site. It is hot when we start. The trail is narrow and treacherous.

 

 

By the time we reach the camp site, my feet feel numb. I am very anxious. I am not sure that I can go on and am almost certain that my feet will not be able to take this abuse and last. I put on my flip flops and try to move slowly around the camp site. I flex my feet and stretch them gently. I long for ice. I know the river is 50 degrees but it's dark and I can't find the river now without a significant effort. I eat my delicious dinner, massage my feet and head for the tent. REST. RECOVERY. Tomorrow is another day.

 

The next hiking day is a bit of a blur but somewhere outside of Phantom Ranch I felt my feet connect to the Earth. I have the sensation that after this hike, my feet will be healed. I feel an internal peace. I smile. I have this inherent knowledge that this is the type of immersion therapy my feet need and that I needed on so many levels. I let go and let it happen. I feel content and pick up the pace.

 

At Phantom Ranch my wishes come true! I find a wonderful little sliver of the Colorado River where I can "ice" my tired feet, a glass of wine (OK two) and the chance to splash into river in my shorts for a quick whole body cool down. I love it. I am in the moment.

 

The next hiking day is a blur. We arrive at Indian Gardens and camp. I realize that the next day will be the last and I feel sad. We hike to Plateau Point and see the most breathtaking views I've ever seen. I am entranced.

 

As we crest the South Rim on the very last day, I check my feet. Covered in moleskins for blisters but they are still structurally whole. They have survived and so have I. I did it! I feel tears rush to my eyes. 100 yards to go. When I get there, I will have done something that only 1% of the people who have visited this great, massive canyon will have ever done. I feel a sense of pride like I've never felt before in my life. I feel myself coming back into that bad ass body that I knew so many years before. The one that got me through four half iron races and three 6:34 miles off the bike in my first triathlon. That body. Those feet. They are back. I am grateful. I am thankful. I am ready for the next adventure.

 

I stare out at the Canyon for a long time before I bid it farewell. I will likely be back but the first dance is always special. Learning each other, supporting each other and allowing for the experience of both. It was the most amazing experience of my life. A healing transcendence to the next, most amazing me that I can be.

 

 

 

Happier Feet

I am reading a book called, "Every Woman's Guide to Foot Pain Relief. The New Science of Healthy Feet." by a Katy Bowman a physical therapist and apparently a very smart and practical woman.


Things I've learned about my feet:

• They should be more like fingers. Mine are more like bricks
• Foot alignment is important - especially if you tend to "kick" one foot out more than the other
• You need to strengthen your feet
• Flip flops are the devil

There are even exercises to "train" your feet so they are healthy and more functional. So giving it a go, I tried a few. My conclusion? I have the couch potato equivalent of feet - no wonder they get injured. My remedy? What I always do - get 'er done!


I started with walking correctly. Believe it or not this means pointing my feet straight ahead and standing up straight. This is very hard if you have not been doing it. Minute changes to pelvic position and foot alignment left me SORE. Like" ran a few miles", sore. Seriously. Who knew? But it does explain a lot. I have decided to delve deeper into this foot book and try a few other things.


But the net of all of it is, my feet seem .... happier! I have been able to run (albeit it painfully slowly) every other day for an hour. This is no small feat (pun totally intended)! I really had to work up to it.


Posterior Tibial Tendonitis has left me with one lasting truth. I will always be injured, it's just a matter of degree. Getting "better" means running without lasting pain. This is about all I can hope for now. It's ok. I have no races planned and I may never actually race hard again. But being able to run, truly RUN and lose myself in the luxurious nothingness of it cannot be beat. I relish the time and am happy to be out on the road. 


I am now a religious wearer of the orthotics. I have grown to love them despite my aversion to anything that "helps" the feet. They do help. They help me to stay aligned properly, particularly when I get tired and my form suffers. They help keep me solid and keep my feet from traveling. SO they are a staple now despite it all. 


I have a goal to run 13.1 miles by the fall. I'd love to run a fall half marathon. My personal trainer is on the case. He is on board with the plan and frankly, it will be nice to have a goal again. Not that I am not enjoying just doing "stuff". 


At any rate, the feet are happier and so am I. I ice, stretch, ice, stretch and ice again..... but alas, I am making more progress every day. That's a good thing! Count the blessings, no matter how small. Progress is progress even if it's running one minute more than I did last time. 


Slow and steady wins the ultimate race. I'm OK with that.  

End of an Era

My house has been on the market for just about two weeks now. As I walk through each room, perfectly neat and neutralized it feels as if I am in someone else's house. Don't get me wrong, I like the colors just fine (in a Picasso's blue period sort of way) and they serve the very important purpose of helping me subtract my preferences and "self" from the environment. The softer colors and less offensive hues are also meant to attract a larger number of buyers. Here's hoping! After four months of back breaking work, it's nice to know that all of this DIY will be appreciated by someone.


I stood at the top of the stairs yesterday, where I've stood many times before, looking down on the foyer reflecting back to twelve years ago just after I moved in. The last box had been left in the appropriate room, the movers were gone and the house was silent. Light streamed in from the skylight and lit up the loft. I remember thinking, "This is mine. I can do whatever I want." Flash forward to yesterday, months of agonizing primer, paint, repeat; repairs and yard work later and I found myself thinking, "I hope the new owner loves living here as much as I have." I also thought, "It's the end of an era". 


This past year has seemed like the end of a couple of eras. I resisted this for a long time. I am not a person who is comfortable with change. It's not that I am stuck in my ways or don't want to evolve, it's just that I get used to things as they are. Like a lot of people I guess. Selling a house I've lived in for twelve years (my first house) and moving to a rental is truly the end of an era. I've had so many great times here, some heartache too but this house has been a witness to a decade of growth and regeneration. I started a business here, became a serious athlete here, fell in love with the man of my dreams here and sat many nights on my deck underneath the stars, sipping wine and just being grateful for being here. 


It's also the end of a running era. The end of trying to come back to an athlete that I will never be again. The end of striving to keep up with an old version of myself that no longer serves my new trajectory and what I want to have moving forward. I took myself off the racing circuit and am taking the time to let my injury heal, work on my mechanics and find other interests that will light me up as much as running fast used to. I look back on my athletic self of 2006 and marvel!  I am thankful I could experience that sort of success on the physical plane. I hope to run distance again but am fairly certain that it won't be at those same speeds. So another era ends but with that ending there is a new beginning. An opportunity to experience new things and grow in new ways. 


Getting better doesn't have to mean getting faster (though I am faster than I've ever been on the bike). It does have to mean that the experience is fulfilling no matter what. 


I am looking forward to renting, having the freedom to move if we need or want to, having a little more money to travel with or save. I am also looking forward to taking my time as I get back into the rhythm of running. No need to rush, push or try to chase the ghost of the runner I was. I get to take my time. Enjoy the process and be open to the possibilities. 


When I decided that the experience was more important than the things my life shifted. What seemed so valuable once, isn't really any more. End of an era. I think I'm OK with it. In fact, I think I can even welcome it. 

Gaining Momentum

My decision to drop off the racing circuit this year has been a good one. As soon as I decided not to race, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I cannot do anything half-assed. I never have been able to. So, declaring that I wouldn't race because I knew that I'd push myself past reasonable, healthy limits to compete is both humbling and self-aware.


Know thyself.


I also know this about myself. I am tenacious and willing to work hard for what I want. I am run 5.8 (when I used to breeze through at 7.5 or 8.0) miles per hour for two months, tenacious. Try every available shoe, sock and distance combination, tenacious. Slog through grueling strength and plyometrics training, tenacious. I have been doing the work to rehabilitate my ankle/foot and it seems that this investment is paying off - FINALLY.


On Saturday, a beautiful day in Annapolis, MD, I ran my "long" run. This was a one hour run on a course I call "Tour de Annapolis". It takes me over a bridge with a stunning view of City Dock, past the Naval Academy and back down a lonely stretch of Rowe Blvd until I make it back to town. It's a "nothing" course for me typically. Something I'd run on a week night just before it gets dark. But not having run outside in months or for more than 45 minutes at a time, this was a monumental run. 


I suited up. Orthotics, Balga socks, sunglasses and iPod. I felt nervous but excited. Once out, there was no other choice but to run back in. I couldn't stop the treadmill and just get off. I had to keep running or risk freezing in the wind. I set out. I turned the corner and headed up the hill. As I passed my gym, I looked at my watch - 7:45. The gym is a mile away from my house. SHIT. I need to slow down. Oddly, my cardiovascular fitness was great - all that break neck, crazy ass cycling at the bike store put me in a very good position. I slowed down. I told myself, you still have the better part of an hour to go. Take it easy. Keep your form. 


I made my way through town and eventually crested the arch of the bridge. I looked out over the      Bay and sighed. I could feel my legs beneath me and my heart ticking over the beats. I love this run. I love the view. I love being outside, I even love the wind in my face. I love everything about it. 


I monitored my foot - all systems go. I kept the pace and kept moving through downtown. I dodged people and dogs. I dodged strollers and people meandering between shops. I used to curse them but frankly, I was happy to be running outside. I didn't care. I headed for the lonely stretch. I could feel my ankle but everything seemed fine. Past the St. John's Boathouse and around the corner, I headed back to town. A stiff headwind met me on the way back but for once I relished it. 


1:07 later, I reached my front door. I stretched. I relaxed and basked in the glow of a run well done. No pain, no issues apart from a couple of blisters from new shoes. I was this day, a runner again. I may not have run my usual pace but I was out there RUNNING. 


I felt free. There was no race hanging over my head, no time to keep or workout to record. I ran just for fun. Just for the joy of it all and I loved it. I stretched a little more  before I went inside and got on with the rest of the day. I knew I'd be sore and achy the next day but I didn't care. I had the world's biggest smile on my face.


Blessings, no matter how small should always be counted. If you can run, that's a blessing. That run is one I will definitely count. 

The Recipe

In 2004, I started teaching myself to cook. Tired of eating turkey sandwiches and tortilla chips and in an attempt to fuel what was then a very steep ramp up to multiple distance triathlons and running races, I tried some new recipes. It's funny about recipes, even though they are exact in many cases, how you combine the ingredients and at what time is very pivotal to the texture and taste of the dish. Putting in spice too early or too late can make a dish bitter or bland. Not sifting the dry ingredients before combining them can mean grainy, odd tasting muffins. The same rules apply to recovering from an injury. The ingredients for healing don't necessarily combine for optimum success. It takes some experimentation. 

For the past couple of months, I have been in active recovery and rebuild mode. The boot has long since been stored on a shelf in the closet (where it will hopefully remain forever). I have been taking it easy. Dipping a toe into running, going very, very slowly and adding in some hiking to mix things up. I am not sure yet how this recipe will turn out but it seems like I have the right ingredients to get the dish right and get back on the path (literally) to healthy, pain free running. 

First and foremost was the diagnosis and then prognosis. While the former seemed dire, the latter seemed somewhat positive. Posterior tibial tendonitis is tricky. Mechanical deficiencies in the core, glutes and vastus medialis (that small quad muscle inside the knee) make it difficult to fix if you don't address the underlying problems. The prognosis, "wear your orthotics and you'll be able to run just fine." seemed somewhat encouraging until I actually tried it and felt that same nagging pain. So I've decided that a multi-faceted approach is best and this is how I've laid it out:

Strengthening the feet: The only shoes that do not bring nagging pain or discomfort seem to be the New Balance Minimus shoes that I bought just before my injury. I run on the treadmill absolutely barefoot for about 7 minutes and then put them on. I then finish up my run in those shoes. My feet are sometimes sore but in that "good sore" way that means progress and not break down. I've run in my orthotics several times and each time I felt that old familiar sensitivity and eventually pain that wasn't severe but enough to make me stop. I am a firm believer in building up and not making "lazy" when it comes to any muscle so I guess this is just proof positive that these inserts aren't coming to the rescue like I thought they might. 

So I've been experimenting with shoes. Running in my hiking boots - no pain. Running in a "higher heel profile" not bad but heavy and my feet aren't as nimble. Combining those shoes with the orthotics - painful! It's again, finding the right combination of ingredients. 

I stretch my feet, do sideways "crab" walks and do what I call the "ballerina" workout - flexing my feet, rolling up on my toes and standing on the balls of my feet for 10-15 seconds at a time. I will also do some plyometrics (jumping up on a small block) if I haven't done that in personal training sometime during the week. 

Personal training for flexibility and strength: Two times per week. I work with a personal trainer to strengthen my glutes, legs and core. We also do some plyometrics and stretching and he keeps close tabs on what works and doesn't in terms of my foot pain.

Sport specific training: Indoor trainer workout: High and low intensity. I do one very high intensity workout at the bike store that focuses on building leg strength and endurance. Then I do an easier, long workout on the weekends where I focus on really building my hip flexors and using an efficient pedal stroke. Strong hip flexors take the pounding off the feet and allow me to "lift" my leg up and put it down during the run stride instead of just "dropping" it and pounding. 

New to the recipe - Crossfit: Having heard so many testimonials about the benefits of Crossfit, I decided to join the Foundations class and see what it was all about. After the first couple of "real" workouts, I was hooked. If ever there was a class that focuses on your core and building a strong set of glutes and legs, this class is it. Plus, the intensity keeps your heart rate high and helps burn fat so for me a double dip! 

The Hike/Run: I took up hiking to realize a "bucket" list item of mine - hiking the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim to Rim. This is an arduous undertaking even for someone as fit as I am. With a foot that is not really dependable, "practicing" hiking is essential.My tri coach says, "Nothing builds run fitness like running." I am applying that same theory to hiking.  From a cardiovascular perspective, I don't foresee any issues. I do foresee getting my body used to making steep ascents and keeping my back loose. I've been combining these strenuous hikes with very SLOW running. I don't run faster than 5.8 mph at this point. 

The result? Well, the soup is still simmering on the running front but I am more fit than I've been in many years (and a couple pounds lighter). I am stronger, I have actual muscles now and am able to work parts of my legs and glutes that I've neglected for years. My foot tends to be sore on some occasions after a run and not on others. I haven't been able to pinpoint exactly what causes the soreness apart from my experimental footwear. It seems rather random. But there is no swelling and the tendon is not "hot". 

I ice and stretch more than I've done before. I also RECOVER more. If I am exhausted, I rest. This is new for me. I am used to pushing myself on no matter what. My foot will not tolerate that now so I have to be more mindful of when I need to rest. 

Perhaps my "recipe" all along has had too much of one ingredient and I've somehow made that strength a weakness (like too much pepper in the chili). I have not run more than 45 minutes in months and though I miss those long contemplative runs, I do not miss "training". In fact, I am not racing at all this year - on purpose. I have not signed up for a race and I don't intend to. I intend to have fun and see where having fun and trying a new recipe takes me. 

Will I ever be back to those two hour runs? I don't know. I hope so. But I hope to take them in a new direction like trail running. Like the hike/run. Maybe I'll just hike instead of run, who knows. But what is becoming clear to me is that this new recipe has more flavor, depth and complexity than it ever has before and the joy that is going into making it has a special flavor all its own. It makes me happy to be alive and grateful that I can give it all I have and do it again the next week.

Until my second round with this tendon injury, I took for granted how important having a completely healthy body really is. For those with chronic pain, knee, back or other debilitating injuries, I now know your pain in some small sense. You never know what you will get. I have good "foot" days and not so good foot days but I am thankful that I can still do 90% of the activities I love. Everything is a blessing if you are willing to see it that way.

So for now, the soup simmers and the jury is still out but the recipe already has a delicious aroma that is equal parts variety, complexity and sheer joy.