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It's a Tuesday night and I am sitting here in a hotel room in Boston, MA, half listening to Man vs Food, eating a salad and longing for my running gear. Boston is such an awesome place to run. Little more than three blocks away from my hotel is a wonderful trail that runs along the river. Lots of runners, walkers and cyclists weave their way around each other on the tiny paved path in a dance of the fitness determined. Tonight, I wish I could count myself among them.
SIGH.
I am here for the bi-annual Sales Meeting that my company has every year. Today I had to present my product and product updates for all the sales folks. It was nerve-wracking but fine. I don't like public speaking but it's a necessary evil in my job. Typically, all of the presenting participants are invited to dinner to mingle and press the flesh of the revenue generators they hardly ever get to see. Let's face it, they have better things to do than hang out with a bunch of product folks. Because of this, I decided not to pack running clothes or shoes because I figured (as has been the case in the past) that I'd go straight from the meeting to dinner. But this time, that was not the case. I ended up dateless for dinner with nothing but time on my hands.
UGH! I could have gotten a nice, long RUN in.
Oh well, I guess there are just some things you can't account for. Not being "required" at dinner is one of them. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed. I like our sales folks. They are fun, positive and vibrant. They keep the faith and add cheer to a company that sometimes has trouble seeing the opportunities for the risks. I love them for that. They believe!
So my thoughts turn from technical product roadmaps to the triathlon off season, my lackadaisical training regime as of late (sorry Coach Liz) and what the next season will hold. I have pondered another 70.3 race and when it's all said and done, I don't wanna. AND, I feel GUILTY about that. I did not have what I would call at GREAT race this year. I trained, stressed and really put the time in only to have it not work out on race day. STILL, I feel some sort of odd obligation. So as I sit here sort of pouting and pondering next year's race calendar, I realize that putting together next year's roster of races is not unlike certain aspects of product management.
As a product manager, you consider your buyer and/or user (me), what characteristics, abilities and limitations she has and build a product that meets her needs or addresses her pain points. As the "user" I've had some good training experiences and some not so good ones this season. I have sensitive feet that need constant monitoring due to past injury and a longing to get more than two rest weekends of my summer back from relentless triathlon training. I love to train and combine my vacations with training and/or exercise (there is a difference). If I had a wish list for swimming, I'd swim in the sea every. SINGLE. day. Rivers freak me out and there are always those damn jellies! I am very busy with the day job and really need to race in events that "sharpen the spear" instead of build toward something big.
When I consider myself as the "user" of my race season, the complexion changes. I become less emotional and more logical about what's best for my body, mind, spirit and life.
I ponder the requirements list for a good race calendar:
- Not so short that's it's boring (sprint) but not so long that I am panic stricken if I miss a long brick (70.3 or over)
- Breaks the monotony
- Fewer jellyfish stings
- Allows for more pure run races
- Keeps my weekend training down to less than three hours
If I were to try to design a schedule for the me tri user based on these requirements I would choose Olympic distance tris and/or duathlons. And you know what else? I would NOT feel guilty. I would feel like I'd MET the requirements and answered the pain points.
So as I sit here and type instead of run, maybe the best way to think about the new season and assuage my guilt is to see it through the lens of a product manager. Internalize what the requirements are instead of what I feel on emotional level is "not enough". I can then choose races and set goals around the time for those races that make me feel proud for having made the effort.
The product approach, who would have thought?
Friday ended up being long run day by weather default. According to the forecast (which is NEVER right, by the way. How DO those people keep their jobs?!?!) it was the only day of the weekend that didn't promise an outright or near down pour.
I am forever changing up my long run routes to ward off the ennui of turning my legs over a billion times for a couple of hours each weekend. This week, I decided I'd do a destination run. Circle a new neighborhood and then end at happy hour! Two missions accomplished and delicious fish tacos waiting at the end.
The day was sunny and nice. 55 and low winds. I set out. I chose a route that seemed hilly but not too terrible. BOY was I wrong! The first hill I coasted down made me worry. I knew that when I turned around to go back, that hill would be a killer AND it was close to the finish which meant I'd be spent. I put that thought out of my mind and kept my focus on the road - a sort of busy one with (thankfully) wide shoulders.
I cruised down the hilly road lined with country offices that seemed to go on forever. I finally took the left I'd calculated with the map tool and looked straight up, almost literally, at a monster climb. SIGH. I thought for sure that I'd get a break this close to the water. I continued on, picked up the main road and realized my water bottle was almost empty. I was very far from "home". I spotted a Chinese food place in the shopping center and decided to beg for water. Language barrier notwithstanding, the owner took pity on me and filled my bottle from a rickety tap. I prayed the water was potable.
I set off again. My left toe had a blister and my legs burned. My glutes were so spent that I was shuffling along and systemically I was starting to feel the impact of the effort. I ate my last Hammergel and tried to put that last hill out of my mind. Then, before I knew it, looming in the distance there it was - a seemingly endless ribbon of pain. I tucked my head down, checked my form and kicked it up. Mid-way up the hill I could hear my labored breath above the din of 80s rock. I could feel the burning in my glutes and aching quads. I started to give in to the pain by letting the anguish seep into my mind. Then, I caught myself. I WANT THIS. I have been obsessed with getting back to my long run routine since my last bout of tendonitis. I thought about Das Boot and how that first 17 minute run was my old walking pace and how I felt like I'd never get back to normal. I decided then and there to be grateful for the burning and aching. To be grateful that I could push myself hard enough to feel this sort of pain. I smiled. The wind was picking up but I didn't care. I felt grateful. Grateful to be alive. Grateful to be running and grateful that both my feet seemed happy to oblige.
I crested the hill and saw Parole come in to view. AH YES, happy hour was mere minutes away. I checked my watch. Right on time, I would arrive by 5p.
I cruised up to the restaurant and stretched. Ken was just getting there and greeted me with a fresh change of clothes. I sat at the bar eating fish tacos, drinking sangria and basking in the glow of a long run, well done. I CAN. I DID and I AM GRATEFUL.
In late September of 2012 I received what I'd been hoping for and working toward for the better part of a year - an offer on my house! For almost a year, Ken (the better half) and I had been living in a virtual prison also known as the "show house".
For those who may not be familiar with putting your house on the market, it requires tolerating an almost constant stream of interruptions to your regularly scheduled program when the automated scheduling system gives you 30 minutes notice of a "showing". It also means that you are on constant patrol and must maintain a Buddist-like dedication to keeping your show house spotless (see 30 minutes notice for potential buyers to come by, take what is probably a 15 minute tour and make catty comments about your choice of shower curtain colors). I dreamed about the offer, how it would come in and I would show up to sign on the dotted line and live happily ever after. SCREEECH. Stop the music. No such luck! I have never done anything harder than sell a house and move twelve years worth of collected STUFF.
For forty-five days after everyone agreed, I worked like a woman possessed hiring contractors to fix the "wish list" of shit the new buyers insisted they could not live without. OK, the skylight was legit and maybe the loose stair railing but, still. Finally, on October 26th (two days before Hurricane Sandy, thank you Mother Nature). I closed on the house, arranged the movers and watched as the moving truck slowly pulled away.
Before I left for the last time, I walked around that empty house and remembered all of the times I'd had there. Like moving in during the summer of 2000 and throwing a paint party with my best friends. After a couple of bottles of wine, Kim spilled orange paint on the carpet and we all laughed. She was mortified. Coming home from the UK and finishing up the decorating. I would walk around the house and just marvel sometimes that I lived there. Coming home and soaking in the jetted tub after a particularly hard marathon, pissed off that I missed my goal time (I should have been grateful). Showering after my first 70.3 race with tears in my eyes at what I had accomplished. Healing from tendonitis and lamenting the loss of my fitness. The first time Ken stayed over and all the great times we had grilling on the deck, laughing with our friends and dreaming about our future.
As I locked the door for the last time, I smiled. It was the end of an era and the beginning of something exciting and new. Just in time for 2013, a new 26,000 year cycle. Perfect timing.
With the stress of home ownership, repairs and showings behind me, I rededicated myself to getting fit. My friend Bobbi, who remembered that I'd said if my foot held up to the Grand Canyon, I would train and participate in a 70.3 race with her, sent me a link to her race of choice. So true to my word, I signed up. A local race for a great cause - fallen warriors (a cause I am a sucker for).
I created a training plan, got new shoes, Spenco covered orthotics and went to work. I set my sights on a "warm up" race in Pensacola, FL in January. A 13.1 mile race that seemed as laid back as the residents. I also signed up for a master's swim class with a swim instructor the tri club raved about. I bought a set of fins, hand paddles that look like something Hannibal Lector would wear and a new swimsuit to replace the one in the back of my drawer that looked like I fished it out of a gutter.
Then I went outside for a run. Then another. Then an indoor trainer ride and then a swim. And so it has gone. The foot is holding. I am cautiously optimistic. Here's hoping for a strong come back for this mechanically deficient, middle of the packer. Could it be that in closing an era and a slightly more significant celestial cycle that I might also have closed the book on posterior tibial tendonitis? I certainly hope so. Only time will tell.
I've been in physical therapy for two weeks now and it's been tough. There has been sweat inducing pain, discussions about stability and at least three "shoe" tests.
First, the numbers. Apparently the posterior tendon has a flex range of about 8% over and above what is typical. My tendon was rotating about 14% given my defunct heels (genetic shape and slant that I can do nothing about) and the partial droop of my arch. My physical therapist said she'd never seen that much "play" and was really surprised that I hadn't experienced a rupture. Me too given those stats.
Though I can do nothing about my genetics, there is much I can do to improve my flexibility, give my feet more support and in general create better foot mechanics. One way to do this is with custom orthotics. The process started with these paper mache looking strips that were wrapped around my feet. They hardened pretty quickly and immediately I was able to see the nature of my deficiency. One of the casts actually ROCKED back and forth a considerable amount. Sigh. This is what my foot is doing thousands of times per hour every time I run. No wonder my tendons are pissed off! The outcome of this exercise is to create a piece of plastic that will compensate for these deficiencies. The photo negative of the rocking cast. Seems like we'd have better technology this day and age. Something space age that could be inserted just under the skin and magically balance both feet. But alas, no. The human body is complicated.
The next step was to do a stability test pre-orthotics in all of my favorite running shoes. First up, the shoes I thought for sure would pass - the natural running, forefront gliding Newton's. NO SUCH LUCK. In fact, for my particular feet, the Newton's were the absolute worst possible shoe. According to my physical therapist, these shoes are where all of the trouble likely began.
In my particular case, the Newton's cause my feet to roll around even more than they do already! Plus, they are too wide. Newton does not make a narrow shoe - trust me I've complained. Unfortunately, I have very narrow feet! For a $175 running shoe, you should be able to have a narrow shoe in a decent color, that comes complete with matching socks, a cape and a super hero decal, but I digress. So the combination of the pitch of my body and feet forward, the resultant stress on the posterior tendon combined with the lack of stability, wobble and low profile heel, made the Newton's a disaster for my poor feet! Sad in some ways, but not really. These shoes are incredibly expensive and if I can fare better in less expensive kicks then I'm in!
Next up, the New Balance Miniumus series. The physical therapist tested me in the trail and regular running versions. The winner? The trail or most minimal version of that shoe was the absolute, most stable. The non-trail version was not far behind and she thinks once I get the orthotics, they should be ok too. A surprise of a different sort were the Brooks stability running shoes. I ran a marathon in shoes like these. The verdict? No go. They were almost as unstable as the Newton's. Crazy what you can learn in physical therapy.
The next card in this house of tendons was my back and core stability. Apparently I am unstable in general terms and not just in my running shoes. My core stabilizing muscles have apparently been on holiday and haven't returned. To draw them back and "wake them up" I have homework: Lie on the floor on my back with my thighs perpendicular to the floor. I have to push my thigh slightly forward creating a litte bit of resistence. First on one leg and then the other and finally with both. Hands flat on thighs, light resistance, don't shake. Check! This is supposed to help my back as well. A back, by the way, that I thought was in pretty good shape. No so much but that's a topic for another blog.
As far as the posterior tendon goes, I am almost ready to run again (with the orthotics, of course). In the meantime and ongoing there is "homework":
Wall Stretches: Stand with toes about 1-3 inches from the wall (knee/foot flexion dependent). Keep a neutral position and drop the knee forward to touch the wall. The stretch is felt in the heel and calf. Really, really felt!
Arch Lifts: Standing, roll feet upward toward the ceiling so the arches are as parallel to the floor as possible. Do this 20 times. Minimal roll to the outside of the foot or lightly supinated. Don't roll up onto the ball of the feet.
Arch Lifts part deux: Standing lift calves and heels up and roll onto the balls of the feet. Not like a standard calf raise where the calves do the heavy lifting but more like a supination of the feet with a finish on the balls of the feet.
I've learned in physical therapy that the posterior tendon is both delicate and tough. It is the central theme in the foot and lower leg and any irritation or weakness will severely disrupt your ability to walk let alone run. Looking back over my years of running and running shoes, I never really encountered so severe an issue until I started using more high tech shoes. Nothing against Newton, I think they have a fine concept for a lot of people but for those of us who are mechanically deficient, their shoes may be a disasterous choice. The devil is in the details as they say.
For me, it's back to basics. I will give the natural New Balance shoes a try and see what happens. At least I know they are stable and won't likely exacerbate my existing injury. I may need to size up to be able to accommodate the orthotic but that's ok. What I want more than anything is to run again pain free. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Homework, sure. New shoes, fine. Until you can't walk or run without pain, you don't realize how much you take your basic mobility for granted and what you are willing to do to get it back. I want to hike the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim to Rim. I want to hike, period and be able to walk three miles for dinner. I want to be able to run more than fifty steps before my ankle hurts. I want to be mindful now that being able to do any of this without pain and effort is a blessing and not a right. Thank heavens for physical therapists and their dedication to making us all more mechanically correct. But the real effort lies in maintaining that investment throughout the journey.
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